I haven’t done a Nigerian-type scam in awhile and I’ve been holding this one until I could. I literally get about 5 of these things each day. It’s insane. Anyway, here’s the letter I got not long ago that I’m using as my next victim:

From The Desk of; Barrister Daniel Williams
Chambers {Solicitor&Advocate}
Email: [email deleted]
Victoria Island Lagos.

Attn Grisham,

I am Barrister Daniel Williams , a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr.Brian Grisham,a national of your country,possibly could be your brother,who used to work with shell Development Company in Nigeria.
Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2002, my client,his wife and their two Children were involved in a auto crash in a remote village called Kuru near Jos in Plateau State.

All occupants of the car unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here in lagos to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful.After
these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left
behind by my client before they get confiscated,frozen or declared unserviceable by the bank where these huge deposits were lodged.Particularly, the Bank of Africa PLC where the deceased had an account valued at about Seven million United States Dollars (USD7,000,000:00).

The management has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account frozen within the next ten official working days. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at USD7,000,000:00 can be paid to you and then you and me can share the
money. 60% to me and 40% to you I have all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make.And this I must do to make sure that this fund is not wasted or end up in the wrong hands.

All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

You can also reach me on my private email: [email deleted]

Best regards,
Barrister Daniel Williams esq

Here’s my response email:

Dearest Mr. Barrister Williams esq (I once knew a man named Bill S. Preston esq, a friend of Ted’s),

Your letter brings me much grief. Unfortunately not the way most people think. Brian was always the favorite in the family. My mom would always say, “why can’t you be more like Brian?” My response was always, “who’s Brian?” Personally, I think she was a little psychotic and imagined things, but since you say my brother has been spotted in Nigeria, he must be real. Good thing too, because Brian owes me money. I hope that the crash was a painful one and his thoughts were about the nonexistent brother he left back in America.

Anyway, I’d really like to help you, but I can’t due to my religious convictions. I’m not allowed to associate with people that aren’t willing to convert my church, the Holy Order of Faithful Cross Eyes. It started from a belief that John the Baptist, mentioned in the Bible, was actually cross-eyed and may have baptized another man, thinking it was Jesus due to his condition. Matthew Cross, the man in question, wrote extensive scripture on the subject and began his religion after that other guy used the event to start his following.

Anyway, our membership requirements are very specific. While anyone can join, I highly doubt that you’d be willing to convert to Strabismusism just for this. If you decide not to convert, I fully understand as I wouldn’t push my faith on anyone. However, if you’re willing to give our small following a try, please email me back and let me know.

In peace I leave you with the hopes that we are able to work toward a mutually beneficial goal,

David Grisham

Of course, I’ll keep you informed on any developments with this one. If you’re new to the site and haven’t seen this done, click on the Nigerian Scammers category to the right to see what type of insanity surfaces from these engagements.

Thanks to Greyhawk for the link support.