I got an email back from my Hong Hong friend. He’s starting a little slower than your average scammer. I forgot to change the name in the email, so the “from” block actually contained my real name. But, in my reply I had the name changed so it just looks like it was a fluke the first time. Let’s get started:

yang ming < [email deleted]@yahoo.com.hk> wrote:

Dear C.J. Grisham,

Thank you for your response,.However I sincerely appreciate your reply however I would like to be sure of your willingness, trustworthiness and commitment to execute this transaction with me,I cannot afford to compromise these virtues.

Considering the money involved,it is necesary for me to be sure of the person to whom I will be entrusting this transaction,my trust is not given out lightly, I need to be convinced that you are a matured person with some intergrity.

What I expect from you is trust and commitment, I want this large sum of money transfered with your assistance,if we follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within a couple of days.

I want to know if you are willing to follow up this business seriously before I can give you more details about this transaction, I shall be waiting your response and assurance.

Sincerely,

Ming Yang

And my response:

Mr. Yang, I am not sure who this C.J. Grisham is first of all, but I can assure you that I am committed to this transaction. As I said in my last email my name is Yank Yur Chang. You can call me Yank for short.

I have more trustworthiness than the Pope, the Prophet Mohammed and Buddha all put together. You have my full assurance that my loyalty lies in the almighty dollar. If you don’t believe me, ask my best friend, Fat Ho (also from Hong Kong). She once gave me a 13 carat diamond to hold while she went to the four corners of the earth. She told me she was expanding her business from the corner of 5th and Main here in Wamego, Kansas to the famed Four Corners of the earth. When she came back, not only was her diamond in perfect shape, I had it polished and my image etched into the bottom to always remind her of me.

Please let me know where to begin so I can start building my latest invention: a piggy bank that actually wallows in the mud like real pigs.

Yours truly,
Yank

P.S. Do you have a brother named Yin?