I enjoy reading the funny pages in the New York Times Slime. For me, they start on page 1 and last the whole way through.

Today’s headline, “Sectarian Strife Fuels Gun Sales in Baghdad”, offers many chuckles. The Slime points to the fact that rising gun prices MUST mean that “more Iraqis than ever have been buying, carrying and stockpiling weapons, adding an unnerving level of firepower to Baghdad’s streets.” There has always been an unnerving level of firepower in Baghdad’s streets. It’s been that way for years. The Iraqi government refuses to ban automatic weapons, which I’m not against being a firm believer in the right to bear arms.

The article claims there are “growing swarms of young, religious, mostly uneducated men taking to the streets” with weapons in tow. I’m interested in seeing what the Slimes consider a swarm. They never really qualify the statement. They do however profile a 17 year old Iraqi illegally on the street with an AK and a Texas-style attitude about the prospect of someone taking it from him.

And then there’s this comment further down the page: “After [Saddam] was toppled, security evaporated, opening the floodgates for looters, carjackers, kidnappers and thieves.” Perhaps the Slime forgot that in 20 December 2002, Saddam personally ordered the release of ALL prisoners from his prisons except those accused of spying for Israel or the US.

Even murderers were being freed on the condition that they make restitution to victims’ families — including financial compensation — within one month. Surely, Saddam followed through on that. However, the NYSlime article doesn’t mention this anywhere. Yet it’s quick to point out that we have some involvement in the chaos. What do you think life would be like here if Bush just one day decided to release all our prisoners convicted of murder, rape, sodomy, sexual abuse, armed robbery, and other malicious crimes. Do you think there’d be a “floodgate” of crime after that?

There are multiple references to the Samarra attack as reasons for people to arm themselves. The Slime hints numerous times to the impending Civil War the country is facing. And they’re doing everything they can to speed it up. After all, news is getting slim these days. The Bush bashing is getting old and stale. They need a civil war. Maybe that will raise circulation.

So where are these weapons coming from? Bueller…Bueller….”The weapons flow from many places. Arms dealers say good, cheap ammunition comes from Syria, and scratched-and-dented assault rifles from Iran. Several dealers said former Iraqi Army soldiers were a reliable source of grenades.”