Comments on: Is War Tearing Families Apart? http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-war-tearing-families-apart The Web’s Leading Military Blog Since 2004 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:21:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jodi http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-35663 Jodi Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:27:49 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-35663 Lastly, Find a book that exists, that is titled, "A Book on How to Deal with War and Family for Jodi Velotta". When you find it let me know 3 years ago! Lastly,

Find a book that exists, that is titled, “A Book on How to Deal with War and Family for Jodi Velotta”. When you find it let me know 3 years ago!

]]> By: Jodi http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-35662 Jodi Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:26:32 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-35662 Hello-I am, Jodi Velotta, the wife of the US Army Captain. The Newsweek article was an opportunity to speak the truth and how stressful war and raising a family during war really is. The problem is that most people want to make things seem as though everything is just great, when the fact is that it is just "tough". I love my husband and support his career. There are some of you out there that are the elite as far as relationships go. I was a voice for many as you are a voice for many. Life goes on and you should too. We are all together now and are greatful that he brought his soldiers home to their families. Marriage is work with or without "war". Tell me something I don't know and then we can talk. Hello-I am, Jodi Velotta, the wife of the US Army Captain. The Newsweek article was an opportunity to speak the truth and how stressful war and raising a family during war really is. The problem is that most people want to make things seem as though everything is just great, when the fact is that it is just “tough”. I love my husband and support his career. There are some of you out there that are the elite as far as relationships go. I was a voice for many as you are a voice for many. Life goes on and you should too. We are all together now and are greatful that he brought his soldiers home to their families.

Marriage is work with or without “war”. Tell me something I don’t know and then we can talk.

]]> By: Carole http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22227 Carole Thu, 19 Oct 2006 23:32:00 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22227 The first 20 are the toughest, I think. After that, it's all downhill. The first 20 are the toughest, I think. After that, it’s all downhill.

]]> By: Patriot http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22226 Patriot Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:28:47 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22226 While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, “It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”

He addressed the man,

“Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”

Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?

]]> By: Chad http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22222 Chad Thu, 19 Oct 2006 16:55:51 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22222 Good job CJ. Write about a controversial topic. LOL!! :P Being married is hard. I know because I failed once and am succeeding at another (1st anniversary around the corner). Now some may say that I am still on or in my honeymoon stage but I will tell you now that we have a blended family of 5 kids and 2 parents. 5 children come in and out of my home during the week as they spend time with their other parent. If there were any signs of it not working for sure by now, I would gladly say so. Now, top that "marriage is hard" even for a civilian thought with one of the spouses being in the military and then top it off with a deployment and I don't see how it couldn't be hard and why some wouldn't fail. There are programs out there to help military families. Being a military family is "weird" already and doesn't fit the "normal" model but what the heck is normal?? Quote from sue --> Probably because there is no communications. That is the most important key to a successful marriage. Bottom line. Amen Patriot. Good job CJ. Write about a controversial topic. LOL!! :P

Being married is hard. I know because I failed once and am succeeding at another (1st anniversary around the corner). Now some may say that I am still on or in my honeymoon stage but I will tell you now that we have a blended family of 5 kids and 2 parents. 5 children come in and out of my home during the week as they spend time with their other parent. If there were any signs of it not working for sure by now, I would gladly say so.

Now, top that “marriage is hard” even for a civilian thought with one of the spouses being in the military and then top it off with a deployment and I don’t see how it couldn’t be hard and why some wouldn’t fail. There are programs out there to help military families. Being a military family is “weird” already and doesn’t fit the “normal” model but what the heck is normal??

Quote from sue –> Probably because there is no communications.

That is the most important key to a successful marriage. Bottom line.

Amen Patriot.

]]> By: CJ http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22218 CJ Thu, 19 Oct 2006 16:16:03 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22218 Carole, you are my inspiration. CONGRATULATIONS!! Carole, you are my inspiration. CONGRATULATIONS!!

]]> By: Carole http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22216 Carole Thu, 19 Oct 2006 12:50:51 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22216 You are correct, CJ. Marriage requires a lot of work and commitment. And Terri is correct -- one person can't do it alone. I've been married 43 years (Gosh, that sounds awful!) and it still requires some work. I think too many people get married with the thought in mind (maybe not consciously) that divorce is easy if things don't go the way they expect. You are correct, CJ. Marriage requires a lot of work and commitment. And Terri is correct — one person can’t do it alone. I’ve been married 43 years (Gosh, that sounds awful!) and it still requires some work. I think too many people get married with the thought in mind (maybe not consciously) that divorce is easy if things don’t go the way they expect.

]]> By: Patriot http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22214 Patriot Thu, 19 Oct 2006 11:34:30 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22214 Sue, EVERY military post, especially Army posts, have this program. I'm going to shop short of calling anyone a liar. However, let's just say I don't think they tried very hard or didn't look in the right places or *gulp* never asked. The programs are there. I'll agree that there is a stigma to seeking any mental help, but if fixing a marriage is important to me, I don't give a gosh darn about stigma. My marriage is more important that being thought of as "hard". It's called priorities and we soldiers need to have them in the right place. Sue, EVERY military post, especially Army posts, have this program. I’m going to shop short of calling anyone a liar. However, let’s just say I don’t think they tried very hard or didn’t look in the right places or *gulp* never asked. The programs are there.

I’ll agree that there is a stigma to seeking any mental help, but if fixing a marriage is important to me, I don’t give a gosh darn about stigma. My marriage is more important that being thought of as “hard”. It’s called priorities and we soldiers need to have them in the right place.

]]> By: Terri http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22213 Terri Thu, 19 Oct 2006 11:14:05 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22213 One thing that I forgot to mention that's available to ALL branches of the Military, as well as National Guard, Reserves (regardless of whether they're currently activated or not) and their families is Military One Source. If a soldier or their family member is in need of counseling, Military One Source will set them up with up to 6 counseling sessions with an Off-Post provider, at no cost to them. This option is available to military members and gives them an avenue to get the services they need without having to go through those on post. If the soldier for some reason is concerned about their chain of command finding out about them seeking counseling, this is an excellent option, as it is confidential and their chain of command is not notified that they have sought counseling, or if they're in an area where there is not a military installation nearby. They have people available 24/7 and can be reached by calling 1-800-342-9647 One thing that I forgot to mention that’s available to ALL branches of the Military, as well as National Guard, Reserves (regardless of whether they’re currently activated or not) and their families is Military One Source. If a soldier or their family member is in need of counseling, Military One Source will set them up with up to 6 counseling sessions with an Off-Post provider, at no cost to them. This option is available to military members and gives them an avenue to get the services they need without having to go through those on post. If the soldier for some reason is concerned about their chain of command finding out about them seeking counseling, this is an excellent option, as it is confidential and their chain of command is not notified that they have sought counseling, or if they’re in an area where there is not a military installation nearby. They have people available 24/7 and can be reached by calling 1-800-342-9647

]]> By: Terri http://militarygear.com/asp/2006/10/18/is-war-tearing-families-apart/#comment-22211 Terri Thu, 19 Oct 2006 10:35:33 +0000 http://militarygear.com/asp/?p=1317#comment-22211 Sue, I'm available to talk at anytime. I know we're not supposed to post our contact information here, but CJ has the information on how to get hold of me both by email and phone, and I don't have a problem with him giving that info to you so that you can contact me. I know that at least at Fort Hood, we're available for ALL military personnel, even National Guard and Reserve, as well as retired military. If we don't have a particular class scheduled when someone calls, we'll get one set up, and we have a list of local community resources that are available to the soldiers as well that we give them. I know that in the battlefield setting, we even have people in place to handle problems. Some are soldiers who've volunteered to take on the extra duties and others are civilians such as myself. There of course aren't as many servces avaiable in that setting, but they are in place and are supposed to be made available to the soldiers there. It sounds to me like some of the chain of command are dropping the ball. Sometimes the chain of command are very young and may be in their first command assignment and aren't aware themselves what services are in place and available for their soldiers. I do know here that for the most part the command both here on post and those deploying or deployed take this seriously and refer the soldiers where they need to go. Sometimes with the young commanders, someone from Family Advocacy has to explain to them what services are available for their soldiers. In our ffice, we go out to the chain of command on a regular basis and network and let them know what programs we offer. Sue, I’m available to talk at anytime. I know we’re not supposed to post our contact information here, but CJ has the information on how to get hold of me both by email and phone, and I don’t have a problem with him giving that info to you so that you can contact me.

I know that at least at Fort Hood, we’re available for ALL military personnel, even National Guard and Reserve, as well as retired military. If we don’t have a particular class scheduled when someone calls, we’ll get one set up, and we have a list of local community resources that are available to the soldiers as well that we give them.

I know that in the battlefield setting, we even have people in place to handle problems. Some are soldiers who’ve volunteered to take on the extra duties and others are civilians such as myself. There of course aren’t as many servces avaiable in that setting, but they are in place and are supposed to be made available to the soldiers there. It sounds to me like some of the chain of command are dropping the ball. Sometimes the chain of command are very young and may be in their first command assignment and aren’t aware themselves what services are in place and available for their soldiers. I do know here that for the most part the command both here on post and those deploying or deployed take this seriously and refer the soldiers where they need to go. Sometimes with the young commanders, someone from Family Advocacy has to explain to them what services are available for their soldiers. In our ffice, we go out to the chain of command on a regular basis and network and let them know what programs we offer.

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