Here is a bit more of my journal from my time in Iraq. Please forgive me, but I have cut some of the more emotional parts out. They deal more with how much I was missing my own boys. It is not something that I really wish to share right now. Just know that my heart ached very bad at times. And my encounter with these boys made it worse in some ways, and eased it in others.

October 6, 2003 Adgnon, that is the name of the 9 year old boy that I met today on the side of the road at Scania. There were several others, but Adgnon caught my eye. I gave him my Peterbilt cap. All the kids wanted it, but I just couldn’t resist him. His spirit reminds me of Steffen. When the other boys were bothering me more than he thought they should, he would go over to Mike’s window and roll my window up so they would leave me alone. I winked at him and he asked me what that meant. I told him that it meant that I liked him. All the boys whooped and hollered then. I really got a kick out of them. They were all blowing kisses and giving me the “I love you” sign. I got a few pictures of them. I hope to find some place to get them printed so I can give one to Adgnon. I also hope that I will get to see him again.

October 14, 2006 We just pulled into BIAP. I got to see Adgnon today. He didn’t have his shoes. His brother Ida was with him and had on the Peterbilt cap I gave him. They look a lot alike. Adgnon had this ring on, it took some effort, but he got it off and gave it to me. It isn’t anything of monetary value, but it is of sentimental. Ida asked if I would get Adgnon some shoes. I told him yes, I would. I would also like to get him a couple sets of clothes as well, but first the shoes. He was so cute. He told me to get in my truck when some other older boys starts showing up. He was so protective of me. It was so sweet. He has really stolen my heart. I wish there was some way I could really help make his life better. Ida asked me to take Adgnon to America. I wish I could take him. I wish I could show him that there is more to the world than what he has seen and lived here in this country. But I can’t. When it was time for us to start rolling, he ran to the dirt road and stood on a pile of dirt and waved at me and blew me a kiss. I rolled down my window, stuck my hand in front of my windshield and waved back at him. Then I blew him a kiss. I wish I could find out more about him and his brother. After we pulled off, I asked Mike if I could cry now. I already had tears running down my face. What am I going to do when it comes time for me to leave? Maybe I will come back for a second or third year. Then maybe, over time, I can fine a way to help this beautiful child, as well as watch him grow up some. Today watching him run toward that road just broke my heart. I wanted to stop, but I know that I can’t. I cried all the way to Baghdad. This is going to hurt real bad. God, I wish I could do more him in a way that would really matter. I wonder if he will remember me and my love for him when he is all grown up? I hope so. I prayed toady for God to please help me help Adgnon, and to watch over him. I don’t pray much, but I hope he hears that one. Adgnon is special. All the children are special. But Adgnon picked me for some reason to bond to. Why? I don’t know. But I do know that my life will be better for knowing him. I can’t wait to see him again and see that he is doing okay. I worry about him.

This really makes me miss my boys more than I already do!

October 19, 2003 I gave Adgnon his shoes. I wish someone would have had a camera. The look on his face, it is hard to describe. It was wonderful!!!! We take for granted things in this life that other people in this world never have the chance to experience. And something as small as a $44 pair of shoes can bring a 9 year old boy to almost cry, well, it is something I never thought I would see. I stop and think about all that things my boys have in their rooms that a child like Adgnon will never have. The I think about being the parent and not being able to provide my child with a simple pair of shoes, it breaks my heart. To find a kid with the heart that Adgnon has, is so very rare. He shows that someone really has shown him what love and compassion really is. As least that is the hope that I have for him. I would like to believe that even though there isn’t mush money for his family, that he has very loving parents. Giving him the shoes was such a chore. They have put up concertina wire along the road. I asked several of the boys where Adgnon was. One said that he was sick and another said that he was at home. I had one go fetch him. I had to hand him the shoes through the wire. I got my t-shirt hung on the barbs and Adgnon was very concerned that I was not hurt by them. I gave him the bag with the shoes and shirts and things. He didn’t look in it. He just tried to thank me. He wanted to much to give me a hug, but we couldn’t because of the wire. He didn’t stay long after I gave him the shoes. He looked like he was going to cry. I know that I saw tears in his eyes. I was happy to get him the shoes, but it broke my heart to see his reaction. He was just so over whelmed.

October 19, 2003 was the last time I saw Adgnon and Ida. As many times as I went through this area, I never saw him or his brother again. In talking to then that last day, I found that their father had been killed because he would not join Saddam’s Army. They were living with some cousin’s at this time. Last year, while hauling the mail to the troops in southern Iraq, I ran into a friend that had been living at the camp in that area. He said that Adgnon was working with our military now. It wasn’t much, but he was working on the camp and doing well. He also told me that Adgnon asked about me several times. I have tried to get word to him through several friends that are living in that camp now. So far, none have talked to him. I still have the ring he gave me. I keep it in a little keepsake box. I hope that one day our paths will cross again. I would like to know that he is doing well. I will never forget him or his brother.