Comments on: Things NOT To Say To A Military Wife

By: Jan

Jan — Sun, 20 May 2012 13:28:34 +0000

& your freedom that enables you to spew this unthinkable bowl of venomous crude is one of many that our Boys/Girls…Men/Women are battling for…FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

By: Jan

Jan — Sun, 20 May 2012 13:15:27 +0000

I am a firm believer that “Simple people have simple minds which entails accomplishing simple things’, that being said…know this…that list & its backlash applies to all who serve to protect our country & our rights! I am the daughter of a retired Detroit Police Officer (37 yrs) & Korean Conflict Vet, who has watched her Uncles leave for Nam, only to bury one 3 days after his tour…& have heard some of the same exact remarks only to include a reference to a different location. Seriously, do you think he liked waking up at 2 in the morning only to dress in full riot gear & possibly kiss us Good Bye for the last time? I am not trying to minimize our Armed Forces & the GREAT job they are & have always done…just shedding a small amount of light on the goings on to the inner perimeters of this GREAT Country…one of our wonderful freedoms is that of speech…try not to abuse it as if it were a drug!

By: Civilian R

Civilian R — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:21:29 +0000

A person,
Although this is from awhile ago, I completely agree! I sympathize with military wives, but I don’t agree with your anger! Just because another may not understand, does not make them ignorant or hateful. As you say, sometimes others don’t know what to say or may say something out of context that YOU may have taken wrong, but was meant in a genuine way. You and your family made the decision to serve our country and have to deal with the good and bad that goes along with it. You say that you don’t deserve all this, but it is voluntary and you knew what you were getting into. If you don’t care for something that is asked, politely decline from answering. Some people can say that talking about problems that arise or how you feel takes a load off your mind. You should feel more open to realizing that some people want to sympathize with you and know what you are going through and that is why the questions were asked.
You can say I don’t understand but I do. My sister was stationed on a boat in the New York harbor during 9/11.
She was fearful everyday as were we and this was on U.S. soil. I got many questions that were kind of crazy. I never thought these people ignorant and stupid, they just didn’t understand. People come from all walks of life with different feelings and interpretations of things. Just like you want to be understood, so do others. It doesn’t make it any different because you are military and they are not. You do not know thier background. They may have been from a war torn country and have seen things first hand. Don’t judge. Think about the Jews in WWII. They weren’t in the military and were questioned all the time. Sometimes terribly. They didn’t make the choice. Now, would you worry about the military that defeated or conquered these people or would your worry about the Jews? I would feel more sorry for them than for the military family that had to wait while their loved one was fighting Hitler’s army. Remember, when the war was over and some of these Jews came to America afterwards, we treated them pretty bad for awhile and were prejudice against them while we praised our military for annihilating Hilter. Be happy and proud that others are curious and question, even if it seems ignorant or stupid. At least they are interested in how you feel unlike veterans from Vietnam just to put into example.
As for Fiona, yes she is going a bit far, but it is the way she feels and has her right as well as you. Whether I agree or not, I wouldn’t call her the names some of you have. That’s just doing what you are saying you don’t care for. Just as you say others should think before asking something, which I agree to to an extent, so should you for disregarding another’s opinion. No two people ever think alike.
I do thank you all for your service and for the strong families that stand behind them. That is what makes our country great. How we support each other’s strengths and even weaknesses. Because of you, we can feel safe and secure. You are brave to volunteer your service to the lives of others, even the ones you consider ignorant.

One Love,
R

By: Virginia

Virginia — Fri, 11 May 2012 17:14:45 +0000

Clarence,
I’ll start by saying thank you for your service as a Marine. Regretfully, I find it inappropriate that you also refer to yourself as a Veteran. A Veteran is defined as a serviemember that did indeed serve in a war. It’s rather disrespectful to title yourself a Veteran when you said yourself that you did NOT serve in any war. I married into a Navy family, my husband is the 3rd generation to have joined, his grandfather is a Veteran, his father a Veteran, my husband included. He and his father are members of the VFW, you know the Veteran of Foreign Wars? If you don’t qualify for membership at a VFW, you shouldn’t call yourself a Veteran.

By: The 858 Kid

The 858 Kid — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 22:00:26 +0000

Native San Diegan here. From what I have seen the Marines appear to be 70% rube/redneck/hick subhuman losers, with a few ghetto Blacks/Mexicans. Marine wives are low class disease carrying trailer trash skanks. Nothing like seeing these pigs stuffing themselves with their EBT cards.

Oceanside does not even seem like California, it is like some combination of trailer park Arkansas/Oklahoma.

By: Brandy

Brandy — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:29:47 +0000

I am a military wife, husband currently in Afghanistan, and every single one of these comments is completely true. People, unintentionally, can be cruel and heartless. Please think before you speak because God knows we have to think before we reply!

By: Corey

Corey — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 09:33:39 +0000

Sabrina,

I agree that if someone “decked” you for saying thank you they are people who don’t want to talk to you in the first place. I think what the idea behind the whole article is think about what you say before saying it. Don’t talk about how a military wife does it but tell her what you think of her for doing what she does day to day. I am sure that some of the questions asked get old after a while.

Over all just being smart about the questions you ask and comments you make to someone who has a deployed spouse will save you from saying something that could upset them.

By: ArmyWife

ArmyWife — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:05:19 +0000

My husband got asked the same dumb thing by his real mom. “So are you taking Trish and the kids with you?” Yeah I think I will just put them in the back of the LMTV and hope we don’t hit and IED. NO dumb **** we don’t get to go to war with them. Grrrrr.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:18:57 +0000

I would like to add to #6 that, many people in the service stay in past the time they “can” get out for the simple fact that they don’t have much of a choice. It’s for the same reason many people in the civilian world stay for years in jobs with undesirable conditions, because they can’t afford to just toss what time they have invested out the window and give up the paycheck, benefits, and pension that goes with it on the hope that something equal or better will just be waiting for them. You’ve probably known at least one civilian person who’s spent years slaving away at a thankless job they don’t exactly love. Would you ever ask that person, “How much longer until you can quit?” Well, genius, until they have a guaranteed back up job that will give them similar pay and benefits, such opportunities don’t grow on trees, ya know! I’ll never understand why some people seem to think serving in the military is just some hobby people do for years just because they get a kick out of it. It’s their LIVING, and one they and their families depend on heavily.

By: priscilla

priscilla — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:02:00 +0000

Its great to know that there many wives n husbands that feel the same way when ppl make comments like those . I am married to a army soldier whom at this moment is deployed to afghanistan . This is the first deployement since i married my husband this would be his second . I AM VERY SCARED N WORRY EVERY SECOND . And ppl who ask me questions like if what if he gets killed or what if he gets hurt n loses a arm or a leg ,….. i honestly dnt know what to answer back to them so i just walk away . The thought of somthing like that scares me n i often cry when im alone or cant sleep . but i know i would never give up on my husband no matter what happens in our lives hes my soul mate n i love him very much … to all the husbands n wives god bless us all n give us strength to face any challenges our lives bring us we can make it