Saturday night after the conference came to an end was an awesome night. It started out with CJ, Angel, Terri, and I going to Angel’s for a quick bite to eat. Angel was nice enough to cook up some burgers before a night that was sure to be a blast. Thanks for the chow, Angel!

The original plan was to hit the Hilton for the Blog World party. We got there right as it was ending, and that was a good thing. We later found out that several MilBloggers were denied entry to the party because they weren’t speakers at the conference. I’m sure that was a mistake since an employee of the conference, Kimberly, invited us. Kimberly was the nice lady responsible for getting me access to the conference in the first place. She is also a Marine Wife! Oohrah and Semper Fidelis to Kimberly and her husband!

LL called me as we were about to leave and told us to join her at a jungle themed bar at the Mirage. The Cool Kids Club was all in attendance and hilarity was sure to ensue.

We met up with the rest of the Club at the bar and soon made our way to a table just off the bar. We had been jockeying for a table for quite some time so we could all get a little closer and hold one conversation. We started talking about everything and then started to make fun of all the drunk people walking by and what they were wearing. Good times!

Sometime after midnight, I spotted a young lady in a red dress. Tears were streaming down her face and I kinda felt bad for her. I snapped out of my caring trance and took on my baby-killing-take-no-prisoners attitude once again as I pointed her out the Club. I said something along the lines of I should comfort her. Everyone else thought that was a grand idea and started daring me to approach her.

I wanted to take this one slow. I knew this could easily get screwed up if I wasn’t on my toes. So, I sat back for a moment and continued to observe our Infamous Girl in the Red Dress (IGRD). IGRD was walking towards the bar and more dares of providing comfort came my way. Terri even went as far as to double dog dare me. I can’t back down from that! Still wanting to play this out right, I sat back.

IGRD and her friend took a seat at the bar, ordered drinks, and played the video slots embedded in the bar. I was warned my shot was slipping away as IGRD looked like she recovered. I shrugged and continued to keep an eye on her. Soon enough, the tears came back and she left the bar. This was my shot!

I jumped off my bar stool and followed IGRD and her friend. They were about 50 feet in front of me so I needed to catch up before they melded into the crowd. I planned my approach perfectly so IGRD would be facing away as I walked up.

I flipped on my southern charm, gently tapped her elbow, and asked, “Are you okay, sweetie?”

She turned to me with the most confused look on her face. I’m sure she was thinking something awful about some stranger just walking up and trying to make sure she was okay. As she wiped away a few tears she says, “They hurt my feeellllings.” I almost fell out laughing.

I kept my military bearing and started talking with her, trying to calm her down. We stood in place for a few minutes while I told her that she shouldn’t take to heart what anyone said. She blinked a few times in her completely sloshed stated and then remembered she was wearing makeup.

“Could you wipe the mascara off my face? I don’t want to look ugly.” She had long since cried all her mascara off and once again I had to keep myself from laughing.

I brushed her bangs out of her eyes and said, “Honey, you look beautiful. There isn’t any mascara on your face.” That is when Angel snapped this picture.

About that time, IGRD decided she wanted to try her drunken luck at blackjack. I knew in my heart she was about to lose any money she had on her, so I told her, “Okay. I’ll walk with you over there. I might play a few hands with you as well.” Off we went.

IGRD’s friend was shooting me the most horrible glares the entire time I was talking. I knew she thought I was trying to take IGRD home with me, but that couldn’t have been futher from the truth! I was just trying to give the Club a few laughs! You can’t see the friend in this picture because my fat head is blocking the view.

We started walking together and I found out IGRD is from Tupelo, MIssissippi. I knew I could play the rest of this out perfectly. We’re both from the south, after all, and that alone is an instant connection.

“People here aren’t nice like they are back home, sweetie. You can’t let what they say get to you. You gotta have tough skin. But don’t worry, you’ll be just fine.”

At this point, all she could say was, “They hurt my feeelllings!” I pushed to find out what “they” said, but she wasn’t forth coming at all. I figured some guy had been rude to her so I went with that angle.

“What did he say to hurt you?”

Nothing. She just kept going on about her hurt feelings and how people back home are so much more nice. We eventually wondered over into the slots area and IGRD’s friend had to stop to fix her shoes. IGRD kept trying to go over to the blackjack tables so off I went to get her. I drug her back over to her friend and I feel a hand on my back. It’s LL!

“I’m sorry, but can I have my boyfriend back?”

I am completely shocked at what LL just said. She knows I’m happily married! I have my ring on as you can almost see in the picture! I guess her fantasies ran away with her that time.

I knew I couldn’t play this out any further so I said, “Okay honey. I’m heading back to the bar.” As I round the corner, Angel and Terri are there dying laughing. I was followed by a whole gang! I thought LL was right behind me, but nope. I get back to the bar and I’m welcomed back with cheers of congratulations for pulling it off and high fives. I, my friends, am the man.

LL eventually comes back and we find out “they” hurt her feelings because. . .they kicked her out of the club! All that drama and tears for getting kicked out of a club!

—————-

This is LL and I have to add my part to the tale.

Ok, we were all watching Marcus be a Smooth Operator and Rescuer of Sothron Belles, and seriously, we were bustin’ up. Until they walked away.

In my brain was this internal screaming (edited to take out the cuss words cuz I have a potty mouth and this is NOT the forum to share that with you readers haha): “Oh my gosh! WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HIM?! Oh crap. I promised Ms. Anna that I would protect our sweet lamb in Sin City. Now what do I do? Oh crap. Ohcrapohcrapohcrap!”

That’s when I sprang into action! (Ok, more like drunkenly lumbered off, but this is MY version and we’re going with “sprung,” like a graceful gazelle!) Little did I know there was an Insider’s Edition film crew behind me as I OJ-Simpson-sprinted through the lobby looking for my innocent lamb. Heh.

After rounding blinking lights and dinging sounds, I spy the Belles with my Marine puppy. I’m not havin’ it! I gotta get Anna’s husband back. In one piece. And not carrying cooties! What would that do to Bella if her daddy came back with cooties from Vegas? I think that would be considered being a bad friend, for allowing cooties. I’m just sayin’.

And so I said the first thing that popped into my head, which still makes me laugh cuz he’s like what, 12? And I’m 38.

“I’m sorry, but can I have my boyfriend back?”

I pry him away from the Belles and holler, “RUN, FORREST, RUN!”

The IGRD is still bawlin’ her fool head off. But, umm, yeah, I’m a softie. I actually felt bad for her. So as she’s declaring (I think she really said “I do declaayare!”) that she was playing blackjack and ran off. I followed her to find out what really happened to make her cry and to try to help. I know it’s impossible to fathom, but I was a young girl once and I recall (vaguely and only when prepped with lots of tequila shots) being crushed when a man dissed me.

I watch her plop down (and she really DID almost bonelessly flop) at a seat at the blackjack table, turn to a complete stranger and declaayare: “I GOT MY FEEEEEEELINGS HURT!” That dude bailed so fast I heard a sonic boom.

I squeezed in next to her as she bought into the game and asked her, “Honey, really, why are you crying? I know you got your feelings hurt, but how? Did some man say something nasty? It will be alright. It will, I promise.”

“THEY KICKED ME OUT OF THE CLUUUUUUUUUB!” *wail, tears, drama*

Ok, yes, I snorted a little at this point, but leaned down and said very quietly, “Sugar, only you and I at this table know that. NO ONE knows you were kicked out of the club. So stop crying and no one WILL know you got kicked out.”

The tears stop immediately. She looks at me and I could see the comprehension dawning in her eyes that really, no one knew and no one cared and making a spectacle was making it worse.

I double punched her arm (very lightly cuz I think I would have broken her if I’d done it like I do with my buddies) and told her to be cool.

“How did you become so kewwwwwwwwwwel?!”

“Uhh, I don’t know, but I gotta get back to my boyfriend and I’m gonna look for your buddy to keep you company.”

And that was that. Left her asking me how I was so cool and went back and threw down a drink. Some people should not be let out in public. Ha!

—————-

Okay, now I have to add my part. This is CJ. Anna, I have to take a lot of the blame here. This was the SECOND girl I tried to send Marcus after. But, it’s not what you think. The first girl we saw walking around was crying too. I told Marcus that she needed a great big, strong Marine Corps hug to make her feel better. I kept egging him on, but it wasn’t working. Then IGRD comes bumbling into the bar!

Again, I thought it would be hilarious to have Marcus go up and cheer her up. So, I kept egging her on. I told him that if he didn’t do anything, IGRD’s life would be ruined! As a Marine it was his DUTY to protect and defend the honor of this woman!! The whole group was behind it pushing to deploy in support of Operation Rescue Dignity and he finally took off to prove that Marines are not really big, bad meanies after all, but soft, cuddly, sensitive love puppies! I promise you we would never have let him lose his honor – but he didn’t need out help there. He’s a true gentleman and it was all in fun.

LL again–yes, it was all in good clean fun cuz Marcus is a honey who was playing along. And the rest of us are evil and really wanted a GREAT story to tell about our last night in Vegas. It worked out quite well, I believe. haha