The title is a double entendre. Does anyone else here remember Goldie Hawn’s movie, “Private Benjamin”? It was a pretty funny movie – for the time. After watching Jessica Simpson’s new movie “Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous,” I couldn’t help but notice the comparisons between the two films. Even with the many differences between the two films, I could pretty much tell you what was going to happen by the end of the film in just the first few minutes. Emily and I were giving each other patent-pending Obama fist bumps as each of our prognostications came to fruition.

In “Private Valentine”, due out on February 3rd, Jessica Simpson stars as an adored movie star who decides to enlist in the U.S. Army after her career has slipped to prove to everyone that she is more than just a pretty face. Supported by a star-studded list of actors, including Cheri Oteri and Vivica Fox, this modern day girl-power story is a must watch for anyone needing a morale boost about their pathetic lives.

Don’t get me wrong, EVERY military age male will want to purchase this DVD if for no other reason than to watch over two hours of Jessica Simpson! If you’re looking for something that will help you forget your terrible day, this is the movie for you. It’s campy, forced humor will leave your jaw in your lap as you are reminded that your life isn’t really that bad after all. You could be forced to watch this movie as part of an “enhanced interrogation” technique not covered in the Army Field Manual and now illegal.

If the movie were coming out in theaters, I’d say don’t waste your money. But, if you are a hardcore Jessica Simpson fan (or closet one like me), this is a movie you may want to buy, or at least rent, or at the very least use one of your free Blockbuster Online rentals to watch for free. If you decide you’re going to buy the movie, save your money and buy Girl Scout Cookies instead. You’ll feel better about yourself two hours later than you will when the credits start to roll.

On the plus side, Simpson is a HUGE military supporter. She has done a lot for our troops and the 15-minute “making of” featurette on the DVD showcases that love. Her awe in what our troops do is a major contributor to her wanting to make this film. Believe it or not, those scenes in which Simpson can be seen walking out of a swamp straight out of a Ranger documentary are real! The scene actually takes place in a swamp in Louisiana and the mere fact that she braved the croc infested waters and bug infested swamps of the state should be proof enough that she really respects what we do and deserves to at least be given a chance. I also found the farting dog to be extremely humorous.

Finally, those of you looking for a film that tells its audience what it’s like to be a Soldier in today’s training environment – keep looking! The only thing the movie has in common with the real military is that the uniforms look familiar. If you’re one of those that gets annoyed with the inaccuracies in movie portrayals of military life will find themselves launching their 47 inch LCD screen televisions through the living room window.

You’re not a real man if you don’t want to watch a movie with Jessica Simpson and a farting dog in one place!! And just look at that DVD cover!! A must have for any deployed Soldier’s collection.