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Archive for 'Author Archive'

When Pounds Are Good

Hi folks. I just returned from a long vacation with Larry, my llama lover, and feel quite relaxed. How lucky is Lorenzo that he has a bunch of llamas?! Anyway, I’ve made a new friend and [...]

Swiss Army Soldiers

I love it when Nigerian Scammers try to imitate our troops. It makes me laugh. What doesn’t make me laugh is when people fall for their shtick! Take “Sgt David Dover” for instance. According to Army [...]

Obviously Not An ASP Reader

Some people should be flogged for failing to read this site. Here’s what happens when you don’t tune in daily!! Spears IS a sucker! [...]

Not So Bad After All

Much like CJ, I’m a racist white person who didn’t vote for Obama. However, I may be rethinking my decision if this comes to fruition: Congratulations!!! The regional office of barrack Obama Foundation in the united [...]

Can You Be Trusted (A Nigerian Scam)

Contrary to what Larry has been telling everyone, I didn’t go out, get drunk, and get myself killed by a llama stampede. On the contrary, I expertly navigated that stampeded and even mounted a nappy alpaca [...]

Enlisted By The FBI (A Nigerian Scam)

I know I’ve been gone for quite awhile, but I’ve been on some super secret-squirrel missions with the FBI, CIA, and Boy Scouts of America! As a reward, I’m sure, FBI Director Robert S. Mueller sent [...]

Merry Christmas

Larry and I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. We’re spending these special days with his family!! Man, I need a drink…. Anyway, here’s a picture of Larry I took last night [...]

The Next Phase

Well, I got a response to my email. I’m on my way to winning a LOT of money!! Don’t worry, I’ll remember you little people. Like I normally do, I want to keep you in the [...]

Tis The Season

It’s been awhile since I’ve been around, but I’ve been traveling the world trying to collect the millions of dollars I’ve won through internet lotteries and stuff. Turns out they were all scams! Who knew?! But, [...]

Respect The Llama

I’ve been so frustrated lately by the lack of respect given to llamas by this country and the world. Llamas should be revered and worshipped as the holy animals they are. If you haven’t been spit [...]

Llamas Enlist

That’s right. I said Llamas are taking over and bringing up the rear in the effort to defeat terrorism. And you all thought I was some sort of freak with my llama lust. [...]

Latest Army Ad Campaign

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Representative David Sneakers (R-AR)

You know, sometimes life has a way of looking up. I haven’t written one of these in awhile and felt like I needed a pick me up. This is how I entertain myself – with Nigerian [...]

A Response to Recent Muslim Protests

I’m sick and tired of all the Muslims around the world who are so opposed to freedoms of any kind, especially speech. After seeing the recent signs that they are holding up, I’d like to offer [...]

Morons At The DHS

Okay, I can’t hold my tongue any longer. I’m fed up with the manner in which our government is “protecting” us. I mean, come on – lipstick is banned at airports!? I’m tired of the government’s [...]