Pfc. Eric Mulder, chaplain assistant, 2nd Battalion, 38th Cavalry Regiment, Fort Hood, Texas, joins the rest of Charlie Company soldiers in a moment of prayer during the Aug. 19 birthday celebration and memorial for Cpl. Robert R. Gross at Forward Operating Base Spin Boldak, Afghanistan. Deployed in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, Gross, of Oldsmar, Fla., was killed July 16 by an improvised explosive device.

This story and photo come from Army SGT Marc Loi of the 319th MPAD. I’ve written about CPL Gross before and wanted to highlight this story that shows our troops don’t forget our Fallen Warriors.

FORWARD OPERATING BASE SPIN BOLDAK, Afghanistan – Under a canopy tent just across from the dirt road many of their vehicles travel to and from every day, making the dusty trek into the town that serves as the final stop before entering Pakistan, the soldiers of Charlie Company sat, their sunglasses shielding their eyes from the lightly-colored, fine dirt that kicked up with each gust of wind.

For these soldiers of 2nd Battalion, 38th Cavalry Regiment, 504th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas, deployed here in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, many things were still the same. With country music blasting on the radio and hot dogs and hamburgers sizzling on the nearby grill, their leaders tirelessly flipping and re-flipping the food so familiar to their childhood, ensuring each piece was fit for consumption, it seemed nothing had changed. This was American soldiers relaxing; leaders taking care of their soldiers; a piece of home – an experience so familiar to the American culture they grew up embracing and later swearing to give up their lives for.

But just listen carefully – listen beyond the twangy, deep voice of Billy Currington on the radio, sizzling of the grill, soda cans being opened and soldiers loudly patting one another on the back – listen to the cracking in their voices and the pregnant pause between sentences, and a visitor, no matter how unfamiliar with the unit, would realize something was missing.

As they would later admit, that missing element was the laughter of a friend, the way he told stories and how he made them laugh. Missing was their buddy and confidant, fellow warfighter and the person they looked up to. Missing was the bodybuilder and athlete they’d grown to know and love, someone with whom they’d shared many of these same cookouts. Missing was Cpl. Frank R. Gross, killed in an IED attack on the unit’s first day of combat operations.
Aug. 19, on what would have been the Oldsmar, Fla., native’s 26th birthday, members of his platoon gathered here to celebrate his life, and in doing so, also opened the floodgate of emotions they’d held onto since losing him July 16, shedding away any bravado they might have previously put on regarding their close friend’s death.

“It’s still fresh,” said Pfc. Justin Forcier, a close friend and member of the unit to which Gross was assigned. “We still talk about him and the good times, but it still hurts.”

The first time they met, Forcier and Gross instantly clicked, sharing a love for nutrition and fitness. Later, the two grew closer as they became workout buddies, often sharing personal stories and ideas, with each acting as the other’s confidant. Just before they left for Afghanistan, Gross’s mother, Antonia, came to Fort Hood to visit her son, where they had dinner and created many more memories, Forcier said.

Those are the memories Forcier prefers to remember, he said, rather than the death of his friend. It is in celebrating Gross’s life – the fact that at 25, he’d already held a Master’s degree, that he was dedicated to his job and even more dedicated to America, that he was quick to volunteer for a task and even quicker with his wits, that the platoon remembers Gross for.

“He was very spirited,” Forcier said. “He was up for any – anything that life had to offer him.”

It was in that spirit that Gross joined the Army, his squad leader, Staff Sgt. Joe Cantu said, remembering the time Gross had told him he joined the Army because he’d accomplished other things in life, and wanted to do more for his country. Rather than joining as an officer – which he was more than qualified to do – Gross joined the enlisted ranks as “one of the Joes,” because he wanted to experience all the different facets the Army had to offer.

“He was very intelligent and highly motivated,” Cantu said. “On a personal level, he was quirky and easy to relate to. His sense of humor was one of his best characteristics.”

Another fellow soldier, Pfc. Anthony Rizzo, also remembered Gross for his love of life, and that although he always took his job seriously, the former high school baseball star was full of color and life.

“We used to have a lot of laughs together,” Rizzo said, cracking into a smile and then chuckled, trying to conceal the fond and private memories he had of Gross as he reminisced. “He had a short temper, so he’d be yelling sometimes, and we’d end up laughing about it later.”

But no matter how good the memories, no matter how many smiles talking about Gross brought to their faces, the soldiers also remembered the day as if it were yesterday. Just as quickly as he’d come into their lives, Gross vanished, leaving a space forever empty.

Rizzo, who was with Gross the day he died, said they’d talked earlier that morning before leaving on that fateful convoy. They’d caught up with each other, and right before they left, Rizzo gave Gross a Clif bar.

“I knew he was hungry, and that he didn’t like a lot of junk food,” Rizzo said, pausing at times to reflect on the day. “I had a Clif bar in my pocket, so I stopped and gave it to him.”

Riding in the vehicle behind Gross, Rizzo heard the terrible sound of the IED and witnessed it going off, flipping over the vehicle Gross was riding in.

“I saw when the IED hit,” Rizzo said in almost a hushed tone. “I wish I could have gotten out to help him.

“After he was airlifted out … I helped pick up some of the remains of the wreck, and I found the wrapper to the Clif bar I gave him,” Rizzo added.

“I was in shock,” Forcier said. “You don’t ever think that’s going to happen to someone really close to you – someone who’s a close friend. I am still in denial about it.”

Although he was not there at the scene, Cantu was the radio operator on the day Gross was killed and remembered hearing the call through the radio.

“When the call came through, I was the one taking it,” Cantu said. “It was really chaotic, but at the same time, I didn’t have the time to stop and process it.

“It wasn’t until about the next day that it actually hit,” he continued.

Although losing Gross hurt and losing a friend hurt even more, Cantu said he drove on, mainly because as a non-commissioned officer, his job was to take care of his soldiers, yet at the same time also accomplishing his missions. Like Cantu, the soldiers who were closest to Gross also felt the same.

“It’s always going to stick with us,” said Forcier. “We will always hold him close to our memory and our heart, but he would want us to focus on what we’re doing.”

Overall, the soldiers said the gathering was a celebration of Gross’s life, rather than a memorial, and also served as part of the grieving process, allowing them not only the time to reflect upon his life, but also to celebrate a life that was cut far too short.

“I think about it just about every day,” Rizzo said. “It opened a lot of our eyes on what we’re protecting and fighting for.”

With their food blessed by a chaplain – who reminded them to remember the good memories Gross created with them, the soldiers began talking among themselves again, sometimes bursting into laughter at the memories they had of Gross. As they broke the quietness and the sounds of joy and laughter returned, somewhere nearby, as if right on cue, the radio began playing another country song.

Though drowned out by the voices of soldiers, the nearby generators and other sounds often found on forward operating bases, the soft, distinct voice of Alan Jackson, along with its sweet, melancholy Southern accent repeated a chorus that, perhaps, the soldiers had taken to heart: “ … we won’t be sad. We’ll be glad for all the life we’ve had … remember when.”

Staff Sgt. Steven Stogner, tactical platoon sergeant, 2nd Squadron, 38th Cavalry Regiment, 504th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, explains how to inspect body armor and equipment needed for air insertion missions to Female Engagement Team soldiers from the 504th BfSB, Aug. 13, at Forward Operating Base Spin Boldak, Afghanistan. The new FET will embed with squadron operations to help connect Afghan women in the area with their government. Stogner is a Heneryetta, Okla., native deployed from Fort Hood, Texas. Story and photo by Senior Airman Jessica Lockoski

FORWARD OPERATING BASE SPIN BOLDAK, Afghanistan — Soldiers from the 2nd Squadron, 38th Cavalry Regiment, 504th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, recently created the first-ever Female Engagement Team in Combined Task Force Viper’s area of operations in rural, southern Afghanistan.

“The role of our FET is to connect the government and its women together and better their treatment and opportunities, such as healthcare, education and employment,” said 1st Lt. Sarah Casper, FET team leader and information operations officer, 2-38 Cav.

FETs, comprised of military women, are aimed at assessing the needs of Afghan women. They partner with Government Islamic Republic of Afghanistan officials to improve the women’s quality of life, treatment and influence among the population.

Casper, two female Afghan interpreters and three female soldiers from the 504th BfSB are identified as FET members. They hope to increase the two-way communication in the Spin Boldak and Weesh areas so they can initially begin to facilitate basic needs.

Many women in these regions have little or no interaction with female soldiers. However, Casper, a Florence, S.C., native deployed from Fort Hood, Texas, explained by listening to them and sharing simple gestures, such as smiling and comparing roles of household responsibilities and motherhood, the engagement will go a long way in building trust and self confidence.

Viper’s FET will also play a duel part by gathering atmospheric knowledge, which can give the squadron a larger picture of situational awareness in surrounding village communities.

“We also will play a role in tactical operations,” she added. “A lot of commanders use FETs during kinetic operations where female soldiers conduct physical searches of women or gather pertinent information from them.”

For example, due to cultural sensitivities, a male soldier should not approach or speak with an Afghan woman. Any interaction with a woman may put her life in jeopardy or scrutiny from members of her village.

But Casper said a woman’s ability to necessitate communication and physical contact in a non-threatening environment may open doors to counterinsurgency goals.

“Afghan women comprise about 50 percent of the country’s population,” she added. “That’s a large portion of people who could bear great influence among society. Sometimes in Pashto culture, the elder female may have a lot influence behind closed doors in her village.”

Because the women will be an embedded asset during security operations, Casper, along with soldiers from 2-38 Cav., helped provide the FET with the tactical aspects of training. Before they are able to conduct missions, they learned search and seizure techniques, weapons familiarization and basic air-insertion training.

Casper also provided them with knowledge she received from attending the FET course taught by Regional Command-South subject-matter-experts, at Kandahar Airfield. Afghan culture, history and government were emphasized, and as well as the importance of respecting and deterring to local customs and traditions.

Spc. April Wallace, whose primary job is working as a mechanic for the 509th Forward Support Company, 504th BfSB, is one of the FET members who received training at Forward Operating Base Spin Boldak.

Although her FET mission will be an additional duty, as with all of her teammates, the Coolidge, Ariz., native said she is anxious to start.

She has been interested in the FET concept since she heard about a similar Army-led program called Cultural Support Teams before she deployed and wanted to volunteer while in Afghanistan.

“I’m excited for this experience,” said Wallace, who was selected among the best candidates for FET by her first sergeant. “The training was good, and I look forward to meeting these women and see how I can relate to them because I myself am a mother.”

Casper said she would like to see the FET make embroidery, a popular woman’s craft in the region, into a livelihood for them. The team is also working on mid-wife networking among villages and would like to provide health and hygiene classes in the future.

“I think it’s an excellent opportunity to connect to these women,” Casper said. “I hope what we do for them allows these women to be self-sustaining.”

Since 2003, Ms. Elizabeth (her real name) has been present at virtually every departure of Soldiers leaving the base for a combat zone. She began as a volunteer with the Salvation Army alongside the USO. Eventually, the Salvation Army role was reduced and the USO took over. Huggy Lady asked to be allowed to keep showing up and has done so.

She told me that she gets her name because she makes sure that not one Soldier deploys without one last hug. It started a few years ago when a Soldier asked for a hug before he left. Then, another Soldier said if he gets a hug, the other Soldier wanted one too. She quickly realized it would be unfair to give just a few select Soldiers hugs and vowed from that moment on to ensure that every Soldier got one.

She’s a fantastic lady and shared some great stories of motivation with the troops prior to the briefings. I was selected to be the Chalk Commander and was in charge of the group of Soldiers deploying. She got the fun briefings, while I was relegated to giving the brief that informed the troops that, even though they are carrying firearms onto a chartered jet, there WILL BE NO “knives or knifelike” items on the plane. No hazardous materials, lighters, etc. Yes, it’s true. Soldiers going into combat must surrender their knives and Gerbers prior to boarding. They can put them in their checked luggage. It just can’t be on their person.

Anyway, Huggy Lady is just the sweetest person on the planet. It doesn’t matter what time of the day a unit is deploying, she is there so send them off with an affectionate hug. I just loved her. And I made sure that I got FOUR hugs. I hope I didn’t set a new standard!

To see the results of all the matches, check out the Fort Hood site here.

The car is packed and loaded, ready to go. Not sure how long the trip will take, but I’m estimating three days depending on weather. It looks pretty clear for the foreseeable future.

I’ll be offline for a few days while I travel, but will try to send updates as I’m able. I’ll try to find Taco Bells that have free wifi! I’ll also be tweeting (@cjgrisham) and updating my Facebook at milestones like state lines. Fort Hood is a great base and I’m excited to be going there for what I hope is my last assignment before retirement.

This is typical for President Bush who worked hard during his presidency not to use the military for political gain, especially when it came to wounded troops and their families. He made many unannounced and unpublicized visited to military bases in and out of the country. He invited military bloggers, myself included, to meet with him one on one without fanfare or media. That’s the way he was and I’m glad to see that he has continued this respect and admiration for our military.

This is from Fox News:

The Bushes entered and departed the sprawling military facility in secret, having told the base commander they did not want press coverage of their visit, a source told Fox News.

The couple was described as “deeply concerned” about military families on Fort Hood after Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan allegedly opened fire on soldiers and civilians, killing 13 and wounding 38.

The Bushes, who have a 1,600-acre property known as Prairie Chapel Ranch less than 30 miles from Fort Hood in central Texas, spent between one and two hours visiting the wounded and their families.

As the media continues to blame PTSD and mental health on this massacre (did I call it?!), remember that this is not the issue. Hasan is a Muslim extremist bent on killing as many Americans and American troops as possible in the name of Allah and a religion being taken over by zealots and radicals.