We here at ASP love the American justice system. It really is a great thing. I think it is safe to say that a small tear comes to our eye when we see criminals being lead into court house showing us such a fine example of the walk of shame with a. . .jockstrap on their head? No, it really isn’t a jockstrap. Wait? Could that be? It’s General Douchy McChinPubes! Michael Patrick McManus had his first day in court!

Well! Isn’t that just special? He is clean shaven, in civilian attire, and lacking the CIA with general star ball cap he was wearing the first video ready to see da man to find out just how much cash is going to have to fork over to free his hind parts from the cold clutches of the jail cell he called home over the weekend. The “jockstrap” on his head is just a bandage he picked up from the prison medical ward because he had a bit of a panic attack. I guess Bubba came to pay him a bit of a visit and it scared him just a bit. I can imagine him flopping around trying to get out of Bubba’s bear hug and he manage to bang his head on the sink, then the john, then the bars. Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark!

My buddy TSO over at This Ain’t Hell, who should get a friggin medal for all the research did on McChinPubes, got a copy of all the court docs filed today. I embedded the good stuff after the break, but here’s the good stuff. And when I say good stuff I mean, holy crap you’ve got to be kidding me there is something WRONG with this guy good stuff.

MCMANUS was previously convicted in U.S. Federal Court in California in 2002, arising out of federal criminal charges originating in Louisiana, for impersonating a U.S. “Air Marshal” and also impersonating a U.S. Army Major, both in violation of Title 18, United States Code, Section 912, He received a sentence of two years probation, which was later revoked for violations. At the time of his offense relating to those criminal charges, MCMANUS had been wearing an unauthorized U.S. Army Battle Dress Uniform (BDU) of the unearned rank of Major (and with fraudulent U.S. Army identification papers naming him as an Army Captain) with attached unearned patches, insignia, and awards, on board a commercial aircraft in New Orleans and also falsely represented himself to the flight crew as a current member of the U.S. military and an “Air Marshal”, and where he attempted to gain access to the plane’s cockpit. Due to the suspicious nature of his uniform and his suspicious claims to the flight crew, he was not permitted by the flight crew to remain on the flight. He was later arrested in California and convicted of these charges there.

Okay so first retard claimed to be an air marshal. Um, I’m pretty sure those guys have ID and have to present it to the flight crew if asked for it. I’m also sure that it is a pretty small community relatively speaking and that the flight crews have gotten to know them over the last few years. If you’re gonna trust them to have a gun on the plane and defend you when the next shoe/gun/boob bomber strikes, I’d kinda like to know the guy, see pictures of the kids, and buy him a drink from time to time.

Next our brain child is wearing the uniform of a Major, but has ID saying he is a Captain. So, what? You just got promoted and didn’t have time to make it to the DEERS ID card center to get your new ID? Please, that is the first stop everyone makes when they get promoted once they get promoted. I don’t know about the rest of the people in the military, but I’d feel retarded pulling through the gate handing them an ID that says Corporal but I’m really a Sergeant. Poor Lance Corporal gate guard is going to say, “Have a good day, Cor-Sergeant. Uh….” Good on the flight crew for picking up on his retard games and kicking him off the plane.

It gets better! I was right when I said that there may be a chance he was in the Army at some point.

5. Official U.S. military records, which include MCMANUS’ form DD-214, indicate MCMANUS entered on Active Duty with the United States Army on November 11, 1984 and separated on March 31, 1987. During this period, MCMANUS attained the rank of Private First Class and a pay grade of E-1. The form DD-214 further indicates MCMANUS was awarded or authorized to wear only the following awards: an Army Service Ribbon; Overseas Service Ribbon; Expert Marksmanship Badge – Rifle; and Marksman Marksmanship Badge – Pistol. MCMANUS’ type of separation is Defined on the DD-214 as “Discharge” and the character of service is defined as “Under Honorable Conditions”, which is not the same as an “Honorable Discharge”.

So he enlists in the Army and does less than three years and never makes E4. It doesn’t take a real quick witted person to figure out that he wasn’t the best soldier on the planet. From what the FBI affidavit says, he made E3 before getting busted down to E1 and getting kicked out completely. Great job! But do you see any mention of a Distinguished Service Cross in his awards? How about a Bronze Star? Silver Star? Purple Heart? I don’t either. Lying sack of crap.

The federal magistrate granted him a $25,000 unsecured bond. I would have liked to have seen him rot in jail, but oh well. Perhaps his stay over the weekend taught him a lesson or two. But judging from his list of priors I bet we’ll see him pulling more crap like this in the future.

And how about I leave you with a little more required reading of the political nature? Guess where McManus worked for a bit spreading his lies about his awards and being an officer? Houston City Hall.

I got word this evening that Michael Patrick McManus was arrested this evening by the Houston FBI on charges related to the Stolen Valor Act. This is a huge victory for every single person who has served in the military. A big thanks goes out to ABC 13 in Houston for pushing this. Please visit their site for their full coverage.

People who claim to have served, especially those whom wear our awards for valor, are have a special place in hell waiting for them. McChinPubes not only claimed to be a general grade officer, he wore medals for valor and our honored injured. My stomach still churns every time I see a new comment our the two older posts.

Here’s to a long prison sentance, a hefty fine, and other not so pleasant prison experiences.

Update: Just noticed the video has an embed code!

Michael Patrick McManus in an Army dress uniform
Image credit: Mrs. G

Within hours of all the milblogs sending out the alert, we had his name. We then found his Friendster profile, which now seems to have disappeared. But don’t worry, Mikey. We have it archived. Then we found a literal metric crapton worth of stuff about this guy including a Facebook profile under a different name where he is a Buddhist monk and pictures of him with “Steven Seagal”. Also my beating around the bush of him being gay turned out to be true. He couldn’t be any more proud of the fact he is gay if he had it tattooed across his forehead. Consider yourselves lucky you didn’t see the pictures from his Friendster profile.

TSO at This Ain’t Hell has done a great job of blogging everything as it happened unlike me who read the emails with it all and could do nothing but sit back and laugh. Check out the following links to get an idea of what kind of person we’re dealing with.

Michael Patrick McManus Chan, aka General Ballduster McSoulpatch Chan comes from his boyfriend/husband/whatever.
What we know about General Ballduster McSoulpatch (Employment)
What we know about General Ballduster McSoulpatch (Education)
General Ballduster McSoulpatch, The Timeline
Apparently the FBI thinks this is no big deal They do now, just go read it.

Just a bit of full disclosure, I believe there is still a tiny little bit of evidence out there that he may have, at one point in the past, for an unknown amount of time. . .served in the Army. I know this is going to break CJ’s heart that his Army has been defiled by this piece of trash.

Bouhammer is currently down, but Troy passed along a comment via email today that McManus is also well known in the Houston area emergency rooms. I can’t provide a link until Bouhammer comes back up but here is the text of the comment. I also can’t provide independent verification of the below statement so take it with a grain of salt. My personal opinion is that it doesn’t surprise me.

He is well-known among the local emergency departments as a drug addict and pathological liar who presents to the ER with a bogus complaint of severe abdominal pain in order to obtain narcotics.

The road from here will prove to be interesting. Houston media is looking into the story and will likely air something to expose Michael Patrick McManus as the fraud he is to those he sees everyday. The authorities are finally taking the case serious after some dropped balls this morning and even more phone calls have been made to make sure McChinpubes gets what is coming to him.

We’ll update as we learn more.

Image credit: Mrs. G

Do you know the man pictured above? If so, I’m sure the FBI would love to know so they can have a chat with him, not to mention the veterans and supporters I’ve spoke with over email this weekend. I’m still in a very snarky mood and this guy just happens to have the displeasure honor of being my next victim.

Where to start with this guy who I’ll call General Douchey McChinpubes? The backstory is he was spotted at the George R. Brown Convention Center attending the Annise Parker for Houston Mayor Victory Party on 12 December 2009. Photos of him ended up on POW Network and one made it’s way. It would be easy to contact the Parker administration in Houston for assistance in identifying him, but I’m pretty certain they would tell us to pound sand. Maybe a few flashy badges with the letters F, B, and I on them might loosen some lips.

So why are we wanting to find General DM? There is no way in hell he is who he claims to be. You can’t see his coat cuffs in the photo above, but he is wearing the Army mess dress coat of a Brigadier General. How old do you think this guy is? Mid thirties, perhaps 40? Yeah, a bit young to be a general grade officer. But that alone isn’t enough to call General DM out. Take a look at all that chest candy (high res photo). I’m no expert in Army awards, but look at the POW Network page linked above for some of them as well as more pictures of General DM. I could keep going on and on with all the things we found wrong with his uniform, but you’d likely die of old age before I finished.

I think the biggest discrepancy with DM, besides him picking up every medal that looks pretty and matches his eyes, is his facial hair. The sideburns are entirely too long, the chinpubes are disgusting, and there is no retired general officer in this country that would dare appear in public looking like this. His appearance screams that he just finished getting his manicure before the event and he is very carefully carrying around his drink in hopes that he doesn’t chip a nail. I could continue beating around the bush with innuendo questioning his sexuality but I think you get my point by now.

Douchebags like this guy are the scum of the earth. Please send this post to your family, friends, coworkers in the Houston, Texas area so we can nab this guy and bust him. He needs to realize that while he may think lightly of wearing the uniform of our country and wearing the awards given to her heroes, we do not.

CJ UPDATE: I’ve been digging into this Michael McManus character and have come up with some interesting stuff. But, first I want to flush out his awards after painstaking studying photo I could find on the guy.

What you see is almost everything he is wearing. I can’t for the life of me place his bottom righthand medal. I’ve scoured history books on military medals, websites showing medals and everything. Maybe it’s a foreign medal or from the Boy Scouts, I don’t know. But, here’s what it all means, from top to bottom, left to right keeping in mind that Mr. McManus’s medals aren’t placed in the correct order – something I’d expect a general to get right:

Distinguished Service Cros (x2), Defense Distinguished Service Medal, Army Distinguished Service Medal, Silver Star, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit (which is also around his neck), Distinguished Flying Cross (yet he oddly doesn’t have any aircrew badges on), Soldier’s Medal, Bronze Star Medal (probably with a V, but can’t tell from the photos), Purple Heart, Meritorious Service Medal, Air Medal (again, no air crew badges), Joint Service Commendation Medal, Army Commendation Medal, Joint Service Achievement Medal, Army Achievement Medal, and Good Conduct Medal (which officers aren’t awarded by the way).

I’m not going to flush out which medals he has placed on his uniform incorrectly because I’d hate for him to read this and fix it to avoid further detection. Suffice it say several were. I found it interesting that he pretty much has EVERY commendation medal and valour award in the system except the Medal of Honor. He even found the DOD and Joint Service medals to stick in there. Also keep in mind that in order to be awarded the Silver Star and Distinguished Service Medal one has to have been in combat. Yet, Mr. McManus does not wear any campaign medals. Odd to say the least. If anyone figures out what that crazy satanic medal on the bottom is, please let me know.

Other Folks Providing Coverage:
Blackfive
Boston Maggie
Bouhammer
Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid
CDR Salamander
From My Position
Hooah Wife
Kiss My Gumbo
Little Drops
The Sniper
This Ain’t Hell