Image credit: Mrs. G

Do you know the man pictured above? If so, I’m sure the FBI would love to know so they can have a chat with him, not to mention the veterans and supporters I’ve spoke with over email this weekend. I’m still in a very snarky mood and this guy just happens to have the displeasure honor of being my next victim.

Where to start with this guy who I’ll call General Douchey McChinpubes? The backstory is he was spotted at the George R. Brown Convention Center attending the Annise Parker for Houston Mayor Victory Party on 12 December 2009. Photos of him ended up on POW Network and one made it’s way. It would be easy to contact the Parker administration in Houston for assistance in identifying him, but I’m pretty certain they would tell us to pound sand. Maybe a few flashy badges with the letters F, B, and I on them might loosen some lips.

So why are we wanting to find General DM? There is no way in hell he is who he claims to be. You can’t see his coat cuffs in the photo above, but he is wearing the Army mess dress coat of a Brigadier General. How old do you think this guy is? Mid thirties, perhaps 40? Yeah, a bit young to be a general grade officer. But that alone isn’t enough to call General DM out. Take a look at all that chest candy (high res photo). I’m no expert in Army awards, but look at the POW Network page linked above for some of them as well as more pictures of General DM. I could keep going on and on with all the things we found wrong with his uniform, but you’d likely die of old age before I finished.

I think the biggest discrepancy with DM, besides him picking up every medal that looks pretty and matches his eyes, is his facial hair. The sideburns are entirely too long, the chinpubes are disgusting, and there is no retired general officer in this country that would dare appear in public looking like this. His appearance screams that he just finished getting his manicure before the event and he is very carefully carrying around his drink in hopes that he doesn’t chip a nail. I could continue beating around the bush with innuendo questioning his sexuality but I think you get my point by now.

Douchebags like this guy are the scum of the earth. Please send this post to your family, friends, coworkers in the Houston, Texas area so we can nab this guy and bust him. He needs to realize that while he may think lightly of wearing the uniform of our country and wearing the awards given to her heroes, we do not.

CJ UPDATE: I’ve been digging into this Michael McManus character and have come up with some interesting stuff. But, first I want to flush out his awards after painstaking studying photo I could find on the guy.

What you see is almost everything he is wearing. I can’t for the life of me place his bottom righthand medal. I’ve scoured history books on military medals, websites showing medals and everything. Maybe it’s a foreign medal or from the Boy Scouts, I don’t know. But, here’s what it all means, from top to bottom, left to right keeping in mind that Mr. McManus’s medals aren’t placed in the correct order – something I’d expect a general to get right:

Distinguished Service Cros (x2), Defense Distinguished Service Medal, Army Distinguished Service Medal, Silver Star, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit (which is also around his neck), Distinguished Flying Cross (yet he oddly doesn’t have any aircrew badges on), Soldier’s Medal, Bronze Star Medal (probably with a V, but can’t tell from the photos), Purple Heart, Meritorious Service Medal, Air Medal (again, no air crew badges), Joint Service Commendation Medal, Army Commendation Medal, Joint Service Achievement Medal, Army Achievement Medal, and Good Conduct Medal (which officers aren’t awarded by the way).

I’m not going to flush out which medals he has placed on his uniform incorrectly because I’d hate for him to read this and fix it to avoid further detection. Suffice it say several were. I found it interesting that he pretty much has EVERY commendation medal and valour award in the system except the Medal of Honor. He even found the DOD and Joint Service medals to stick in there. Also keep in mind that in order to be awarded the Silver Star and Distinguished Service Medal one has to have been in combat. Yet, Mr. McManus does not wear any campaign medals. Odd to say the least. If anyone figures out what that crazy satanic medal on the bottom is, please let me know.

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