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We tapped the wires, bugged the phones, implanted tracking devices … all of which was pretty pointless because unearthing the best tactical gear video reviews this month was simple. All the usual suspects — Gear Geeks, Tacticalgearhead, Mil-Spec Monkey — uploaded homemade reviews to YouTube during December. Some, like Survivalist31, made a triumphant review return after a four-month hiatus.

And yes, we’re reviewing reviews. It’s the holidays, so give us a break!

Mil-Spec Monkey: Maxpedition 2009 Jumbo Variants (LEO, EDC, Mongo)
The Monkey really impresses us by reviewing three bags at once (or is it two?). Talk about mad multitasking skills. He’s rocking a sparkling white, super-professional presentation area and a well-trained cameraman that clearly blows away the competition. His insightful breakdown, especially when he uses props to demonstrate what goes where, is helpful to those who are freaked out by the sheer number of pockets on most tactical gear.

Favorite Monkey quote (at 5:09): “You gotta really make sure you know what you are doing. I don’t want anyone out there to be all blowing holes in their legs because ‘oh Mil-Spec Monkey did this.’”

ITS Tactical: 215 Gear Enhanced Rigger’s Belt
Firstly, watch out for the intro music. It’s a little jarring, especially if you have your headphones up a little too loud (like we did). It’s so nice to see side-by-side product reviews, especially for those not-so-savvy gearheads out there.

You know what else would be nice? We’d like to see the reviewer’s face. The camera is angled so that the focus in on the belts and the reviewer’s chest and arms. There’s so much that can be lost in translation when you hear someone’s voice, but you can’t see their face. However, the ultimate bonus to this video is the concise and easy-to-read written review, which you can check out here.

Tacticalgearhead: Jura Impressa F8 Automatic
The most random review, by far, came from our friends at Tacticalgearhead. Decidedly tired of the typical tactical products, they investigated a “tactical” coffee maker instead. You’ve got to love the natural setting in a fancy, granite counter-top kitchen. And it’s amazing that this machine is able to keep track of how many cups it brews (in this case, more than 500 in a year!).

The fact that the reviewer has used this machine almost every day for a year makes him basically an expert on this machine. Quote that sums up the entire review: “I have a preference for pressure-brewed coffee. I think it’s great.” Obviously he likes this machine. A lot.

Survivalist31: Maxpedition Falcon-II
With help from his dad, Survivalist31 was able to piece together an excellently edited review on Maxpedition Falcon-II (his new school book bag!) as well as an assortment of tactical items (including an Altoids case fire kit and a bright orange spork). With four months in the making, he does admit that he’s a busy guy, being a sophomore in high school and all. He also makes a mention of having family trouble, which we do appreciate the candidness, but perhaps a little TMI for backpack review? Maybe that’s just us.

We also love you, S31, but slow down. You are talking way too fast! On the other hand, we commend you on your Red Bull-esque enthusiasm. It’s obvious you were born a tac gear fan. S31 on sporks (at 4:15): “Best of both worlds: You got that spoon on there, and you’ve got that fork on the top. You can even draw a little face on there, and you’ve got spork men. You can play around with them, and have spork fights with your friends.”

Gear Geeks: Concealed Carr Holster by Maxpedition
For the first few seconds, Gear Geeks’ video review doesn’t disappoint with an edgy, compelling intro that obviously took more than a few seconds to put together. While the intro is highly impressive, it makes the muffled audio on the rest of the review that much more obvious.

Nevertheless, ShakyJake makes it up with his information-packed video and written review. And the camo background, which is similar to his theme on YouTube and his blog, provides an added layer of excitement to the review.

If you’re not familiar with “The Monkey,” this well-known gear reviewer has made a name for himself by giving in-depth critiques of tactical belts to boots to electronics and everything in between. With a knowledge base in art and design, he not only reviews but sells his own creations. From designing his own logo for T-shirts and patches to teaming up with Maxpedition on a combat pouch, The Monkey is always on top of the latest and greatest in the gear world.

What’s the best thing about running MSM?

Although there are many fun small perks, I’d say the best thing is being my own boss. Even when you have a “cool” job such as in the game or movie biz, the fun can really be sucked away when management gets crazy. As bossman, I’m directly rewarded for good decisions and only have myself to blame for bad ones.

The Monkey Logo

Tell us the one quality you look for in all the gear you review.

Quality comes in many forms. However, the first thing I look for is functionality. I want to make sure the gear accomplishes its design goals or if not, perhaps see if it is good at something else. Close behind come: durability, ease-of-use and finally looks/visual appeal.

Your moniker comes from your past as a DJ. With that said, do you think you’ll ever return to spinning records?

The DJ skill luckily is like riding a bike, so I do the occasional house party on request. I don’t think I’ll go into full DJ mode again as it is a lot more work than it looks. You have to travel a lot and keep a steady flow of self promotion. Party quality can vastly vary, and if you jam out every single weekend, the parties start to lose their appeal.

Despite never having set foot on a battlefield (instead serving as a DoD contractor for the U.S. Army), you have become one of the most prominent tactical gear reviewers online. What do you have to say to your critics?

It is a tricky subject, as true battle experience is certainly desired for gear applications, but many of those who have it are too busy or perhaps are not that great at writing reviews. That said, I realize my own writing is typically raw and unrefined, however using my design background I am able to communicate if items work in real-life situations, why they work and how to improve them when possible.

2007 Collaboration with Maxpedition

I make sure and list smaller details not noted in company product descriptions. Despite not serving in a full-military branch, I have made an effort to educate myself on tactical subjects enough to what I think could be described as “helpful to others.” A part of the gear battle is just knowing what exists and the pros and cons of all the different variants. Since such knowledge is my specialty at the moment, this allows others to keep their minds on more important tasks, and they can come to me for quick gear advice or problem solving.

I only ask people look at my reviews for actual content and not write them off based on what I have done or how much of a dork I look like .

What do you do when you’re not trying out the latest Maxpedition bags or Surefire holster kits?

When not gear queering it up, I like to play video games, rock some digital art designs, chasin’ girls and sometimes get my full slack on watching some good ol’ TV. Most days I’m usually keeping busy with MSM in general making sure orders are being filled and keeping fresh designs coming.

Vintage Monkey: Watch him present his design collaboration with Maxpedition, which was released back in 2007.

Who needs all that tactical pant storage when you’re wearing a Maxpedition Sitka GearSlinger on your back? Tactical Gearhead recently demonstrated just how spacious it can be, especially when you’re carrying a mix of smaller and larger items.

This backpack-meets-sling made with a Teflon fabric retails for just under $130 and features a single-shoulder strap for easy access and speedy on-off time. To keep out thieving hands besides your own, there’s built-in theft protection around the zipper area, and a triple polyurethane coat will keep out that other unwanted element — water.

Its best feature, as demonstrated by Tactical Gearhead, is the ability to effortlessly swing the pack from the back of the body to the front, which of course allows you to quickly access all your tactical tools in those most critical moments.

While overall a mostly positive review, some criticisms Tactical Gearhead had were that the security feature near the zippers does not easily snap shut. Therefore, if you are trying to secure it in a rush, it could be difficult to lock and become an open target to pickpockets after all.

The reviewer also mentions that when you are putting the bag on over your jacket, it could make things bunch up a bit. “But that downside is offset by how easy it is just to get into the bag without having to set the bag down.”

The biggest upside to the Maxpedition Sitka GearSlinger? It doesn’t look like a purse, he says. And this non-purse is available in black, OD green, khaki, foliage green and khaki foliage.

Watch the full review below.